Insane
by Ninjasnowflake
Summary: After the war Harry is going insane, the only thing keeping him grounded is his former obsession with Draco Malfoy. He realizes he for far too long have let others touch what is his and now he's so done. Draco is his.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a short introduction to the story - i've always wondered how Harry couldn't be affected by all the things which happened in his life- ouo

Harry had saved the wizarding world, but the wizarding world couldn't save him from himself. Harry was walking back and forth in the kitchen in grimauld place. Neither Ron or Hermione had had the time to be around him lately, due to preparations for their wedding. Harry hated it. When he was alone the insanity took over his mind and broke him into pieces. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't do anything right and he often spent days tied to his own bed. Oh no. But Ron and Hermione were too busy being i love. How he had come from the kitchen to his bedroom was a mystery for him. But there he was, underneath his covers, his head spinning, the confusion making a headache appear. Harry squirmed underneath his sheets, his body shaking in a fit of uncontrollable anger. He hated them both. Now he no longer had any dangerous mission to tackle, the couple no longer had time for him. He hated them more than he had ever hated Draco Malfoy. Harry felt his anger subside. The thought of the blonde calming his nerves, a strike of lightning hitting him. Draco Malfoy calmed his anger? What had the world come to. Harry's thoughts drifted away from the former slytherin and his body jerked up without his content, before it broke out in a sweating fit and his thought got mixed together. Marry Ron. Git. Toilet paper. Harry closed his eyes, trying to stop his mind from playing tricks on him. It didn't help. Tears streamed down his face and he had no way of stopping them.

He screamed and violently jerked around, desperate to break his own bonds. His screams made Kreacher appear, probably the only one who still cared. Harry grunted uncoherent words and Kreacher started dabbing his forehead with a wet towel. "Master Potter, please try to calm down" he said in his slightly squeaky voice, making it clear for Harry that the elf was worried. "Kreacher" grunted Harry, face heating up as he tried to stop his body from acting on its own accord. The elf desperately grabbed Harrys outstretched hand and kissed it. "Master, master master" he kept whining and Harry wanted to calm the elf, but he had no control over himself. His thoughts ran over a blonde slytherin who would probably enjoy his misery and it was like a blanket had been put over his body and calmed him. Harry then knew what he had to do. He sat up, looking at Kreacher with a soft smile, affectionate rubbing behind the elf's big ears. Kreacher's eyes glistened with tears, he hadn't gotten an ear rub in a year and Harry knew how much the elf truly enjoyed those. "Kreacher" Harry whispered. "Please get me Draco Malfoy."

Kreacher bowed so deep his ears lay flat against the floor. "Will do master!" He chirped happily, before he appareted. Harry smiled softly. Who should have known Draco Malfoy would be his savior.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hello- First real chapter is up. I hope you guys will review it! I'm so happy for all the people who already favorited and followed ouo  
This story wont be updated regulary - cuz im focusing on my other story. And also I'd like to know if you guys would like this story to be Draco pov or Harry pov. the introduction was needed in Harry's pov. but now it can be both ouo I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

Malfoy and Kreacher weren't back and Harry felt his sanity slip away, he couldn't keep remembering their school time and his mind was constantly drifting towards Ron and Hermione who he felt had betrayed him. Who was he kidding. The two had seemingly disappeared from his life after Voldemort's life had ended. Harry groaned softly. His head was spinning and his hands slowly grew sweaty, he tried to wipe them in his pants, but it didn't do any good. His hand grew sweatier and he was certain it wouldn't get any better. Hermione and Ron had suggested he went to St. Mungo's, but Harry had no need to be treated special by healers, when others probably needed their help way more than he did. He could feel the small voice in the back of his head, pressing through his clear thoughts, wanting to take over his head. Harry squirmed, squinting his eyes, trying to push it back. He curled up on his bed, closing his eyes as he started shaking. He knew were this was going, but he still tried to fight it. His feet grew cold and his breath quickened. He rolled around on the bed trying to calm himself. At times he wished he had someone who cared enough for him, to stick around and gently dab his forehead with a wet cloth. Sure, he had Kreacher. The elf had turned out to have a heart of gold, though he seemed to enjoy Harry's moments of insanity. But Kreacher wasn't really what Harry needed. The elf had found a place in Harry's heart, but he didn't quite fill up the hole his break up, which wasn't even a real break up, with Ginny had left and the betrayal he felt towards Ron and Hermione. Harry hugged his legs to his chest, breathing frantically. Just the thought of his two best friends made his mind clog with a heavy mental fog, which made him feel sick. He clutched his stomach, rubbing it.

He stumbled out of bed, taking a minute to regain his balance. He took a hold of the bedhead, trying to steadying not only his mind but also his body. Harry should have known he wouldn't get anything good out of being the savior of the wizarding world. He groaned as the world seemed to stop spinning. He sighed softly and took a small step forward, still holding onto the bedhead. The world spun slightly, but Harry was certain he could manage the small trip to the bathroom. Harry groaned as he slowly walked towards the door. After his mental state had been questioned by his friends, he had decided to move from Sirius room to the room closest to both the kitchen and the bathroom. He rubbed his head, before reaching towards the handle on the bathroom door. Harry sighed as he opened the door and almost fell into the bathroom, losing his balance for a second. He sighed softly, stumbling towards the sink and gripping its sides, to steady himself. He slowly turned on the tap, sinking his face down to let the water pour over his face, closing his eyes, the water felt cooling against his still sweaty face. He sighed softly and stood like that, just for a bit, before he lifted his head and reached out to take a towel.

He wasn't thinking anything at the moment and it made him feel weirdly calm. He smiled softly for himself, for once happy that no one was around. He hummed as he placed his hands on each side of the sink once more. He was kind of hungry. He slowly let go of the sink, sighing as he walked towards the kitchen. His legs felt heavy and he stood still for a second, trying to lift his leg. He furrowed his brows, wondering why his legs suddenly felt like cement. He was honestly getting tired of the way his body was behaving, but he didn't think there was any cure. He knew it all was mental. He was mentally tired. Mentally exhausted.

Harry squeaked in surprise when Kreacher appeared out of nowhere with Malfoy at his side. He sighed softly, trying to shake the stiffness out of his limbs, looking at the Malfoy heir, who certainly ahd grown older, but he still looked like himself. It made Harry smile. At least someone hadn't changed. Even the scowl on his face was the same and Harry found himself grinning at Malfoy. "Potter." Malfoy groaned. "Who do you think you are? Sending your houseelf out to get me instead of seeking me yourself." He rolled his eyes. "That scared are you, Potter?" Harry chuckled. He weirdly appreciated Malfoy's insult. "Kreacher can you make us some tea?" Harry muttered at the elf, ignoring Malfoy, which seemed to anger the blonde further. Harry watched Kreacher go towards the kitchen. "Malfoy. Let's sit down in the livingroom." Malfoy huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry found his legs feeling less heavy. He could lift them without a struggle and soon found himself able to lead Malfoy towards the chairs infront of the fire. "Malfoy. Thank you for coming." Harry glanced at the blonde, smiling. Malfoy rolled his eyes and got himself comfortable in the chair. Harry followed his movements, eyes locked on the patch of skin exposed, when his shirt rode up slightly. First now Harry realized Malfoy wasn't in robes. Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "You're done looking?" Harry chuckled. "You're in muggle clothes." Malfoy rolled his eyes. "In case you didn't know Potter. I'm a deadeater, my punishment is living in the muggle world. My magic has been restricted. Now that's over. Tell me what the hell you want Potter. It's not like were…" Draco paused before he sneered. "..Friends." Harry sank deeper into his chair. "I'm sorry. I had no idea." Draco huffed. "Have you been living in a hole Potter? Everybody fucking knows." Draco shock his head in annoyance and Harry lowered his gaze to the floor. "I have yes." He sighed softly. "I thought you of all people would actually wonder why my name wasn't plastered all over the prophet." Harry muttered. He half and half wanted to tell Malfoy how he was feeling lately, but on the other hand said male would probably not care.

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Spit out Potter. I don't have the time for this." Harry sighed and clutched the bottom of his shirt. "I'm sick." He mumbled. He didn't know what else to say. He didn't know how to word out in what way he was sick. He didn't know why he was growing warmer. Malfoy raised an eyebrow at Harry. "Sick?" Harry nodded. "You don't know the mental pressure I've been through whole my life. It's finally catching up with me." He chuckled softly and glanced at Malfoy. "The savior of the wizarding world is no longer needed." Harry rolled his eyes at his own words, glancing at Malfoy. "My body isn't functioning optimal anymore. Hermione and Ron don't have time for me. Everyone else are moving on and I'm just stuck here all by myself, waiting for someone to actually care about me and not the savior." He said it all in one breath, trying not to think about his own words. Taking a deep breath when he finished, not looking at Malfoy. Had he just poured his heart out to a Slytherin?

Harry sighed softly as he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at Malfoy. The other male was just looking at him. "You think you're the only one who's suffering Potter?" Harry huffed. He should have known Malfoy would be like this. He turned his gaze away, the silence in the room so loud Harry could feel a headache forming. He got up out of no where. "I'll go tell Kreacher there's no need for tea." He muttered, not even looking at Malfoy as he hurried out the room. He could feel tears pressing their way out, but he wouldn't let them. He could cry when Malfoy had left and he once again would be alone. He squeaked, when a hand grabbed his arm, spinning around, about to smack whoever it was, realixing it was Malfoy. "Oh" He said, his mouth opened in an o shape, looking stupid. Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Potter. I didn't say no yet did i?" Harry gulped and shook his head, closing his mouth. Malfoy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I have nothing better to do anyways. So sure I can hang out with you." Harry couldn't help himself, but he started giggling. Who would have ever thought the day Draco Malfoy would use muggle slangs would come. Malfoy huffed. "Or maybe I won't. You piss me off on purpose don't you Potter?" Harry sent Malfoy a grin. "Thank you." Malfoy rolled his eyes. "You owe me one Potter."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: i got struck by the lightning of inspiration. I hope this isnt too rushed for you guys- but I feel like this was the point of the story everyone have been waiting for! :) Enjoy! Please review! Thanks to everyone who ahve favorited, followed and reviewed this story! If you want to read more of my writing please go check out my profile :)

The two of them had been 'hanging out' as Malfoy said it for a few weeks now. Draco as Harry had started calling him, was actually pleasant company if you gave him time to trust you. At first the two of them had mostly just played chess and Harry had told Draco about his dull days in Grimauld place. Draco hadn't really shared much about his daily life or other matters, but it was okay. The two of them had grown closer. They now sat on the daybed, beside each other, reading. Harry thought about how odd it was, that neither Ron or Hermione knew as much about his current life as the blonde man beside him did. He glanced at Draco. Draco seemed absorbed by his book. Harry hummed for himself and leaned in to look over Draco's shoulder, resting his head there, reading with Draco. The first time Harry had done that Draco had smacked his head away and yelled at him for what felt like hours. Now Draco simply chuckled and returned to his book after glancing at Harry. Harry felt content with Draco. He never really said much, when he was there, but it was the small things which mattered, like how he had held the door when they went into the kitchen. Harry smiled and closed his eyes. He hadn't actually realized how tired he was, but Draco probably wouldn't mind him dozing off for some time.

Harry later woke up to thin fingers running through his messy hair, gently rubbing his scalp. He blinked a little and glanced up at Draco who was looking at him. "You fell asleep" He stated, Harry nodded, closing his eyes once more. "I haven't slept for a couple of days." He mumbled. It was the truth, but he wished it wasn't. He was growing rather dependent of Draco. At night, he couldn't sleep because Draco wasn't there to calm his fits and he often lay awake squirming and sweating and crying. Yes. Harry did a lot of crying. He wished Draco would tell him it'd be just fine. Harry was embarrassed to admit, that Draco had actually seen him get one of his fits. He had come unannounced one day and Harry had been thinking about how no one cared for him. How no one was interested in knowing if he was okay. How no one insisted that he went to a mental healer. Harry knew they existed, but he felt like he was being a baby. He should be able to handle a little bit of madness. If dear old dead Voldy could handle it, so could Harry. His mind might think it was able to handle it, but his body hadn't thought so. When Draco had arrived, Harry had been lying on the kitchen floor. His body in a weird kind of spasm he had had more often that he liked to admit. Tears had been streaming down his face and he had been dripping with sweat. Harry's eyes had met Draco's and it had felt like the world stopped. His body calmed down, till it was only his shoulders shaking lightly, because of the tears still streaming down his face. He had been able to whip away some of the sweat on his forehead and had collected himself enough to stand up and offering to take Draco's jacket. They had never spoke about it, but ever since then, Draco had gotten gentler. He had started actually touching Harry. The touches were small things like what he was currently doing, running his fingers through Harry's hair. Sometimes it was his shoulders or his back, but Draco seemed rather fond of the mob of hair on Harry's head.

Draco sighed and stood up. "Lie down." He almost commanded, but by now Harry knew it wasn't because Draco was an asshole. No, more like the opposite. It was because Draco cared. He was worried about Harry. So Harry did as he was told. His full length taking up the daybed, leaving no space for Draco to claim. Draco didn't seem to mind though as he pulled a small chair over beside the daybed and reached in to gently massage Harry's shoulders. "Youre so tense." He muttered, Harry closing his eyes. "Sorry" Harry knew Draco rolled his eyes, even if he couldn't see it. The other male's hand moved down Harry's chest. Harry's breath caught in his throat. He had no idea what Draco was doing. But touching Harry like this was a little more intimate than Harry felt comfortable with. Harry shot up and pushed Draco's hands off him. He could feel his heart beat picking up it's pace. Harry stared at Draco with wide eyes. Draco huffed. "Turn over." Harry bit his lip, but laid back down, before turning onto his stomach, his heart beating so hard against his chest he was worried it'd escape the cage his ribs provided. Draco didn't seem to have noticed Harry's tension and if he did he didn't comment on it. Draco hummed. "I took a muggle cursus in massage." He muttered, so low Harry barely heard him. Harry hummed in response to let Draco know he was listening. The blondes hands gently rubbed over his back in all the right places, making Harry's tension flood away with the slight breeze coming in from the open window. Harry sighed in content, closing his eyes. Draco's hands were magical. Draco continued speaking. " I thought it could help you…" Harry could feel his face heating up, a soft smile forming on his lips. Draco had actually thought about him. Draco visible gulped. It was so loud Harry could actually hear it. "Whe-en I told you I'm getting married." Harry froze.

He couldn't concentrate about separating the confusing mess of thoughts in his mind and he could feel his hands starting to shake. Harry was glad his face was buried in the daybed so Draco wouldn't notice the tears. Harry by know knew that he was losing it. He was losing the grip he held on his mind and Draco was to blame. Harry's shaking went from his hands and up his arms down his body. He couldn't control it anymore. Draco had been with him almost every day the last two weeks and now someone was taking him away from him. Harry whimpered and curled up on the daybed, breathing heavier. He could feel Draco's hands on him, trying to calm him down. But where they before had worked wonders all they did now was make Harry disgusted with himself. He lifted his gaze to look at Draco. Draco froze when their eyes met. Harry knew the anger in his own eyes was dangerous, but he hadn't expected it to send Draco flying through the wall. He could hear Draco scream as he fell down the stairs. The back of Harry's mind, his sanity screaming to make him save the blonde. The screams weren't powerful enough. All Harry could hear was the sound of waves, the water clogging his mind and making him unable to move. Draco had betrayed him.

It was safe to say that Draco stopped coming by. Draco didn't want Harry to come visit him in the hospital and whenever Harry tried Draco would get off his bed and limp out the room, making it clear that they had nothing to talk about. Draco had almost died. Harry hadn't believed it when the healer told him, but from the way Draco acted Harry knew it was the truth. Harry had almost killed Draco. Harry knew he deserved this treatment, but he couldn't help but blame it all on his sanity. He had went to a mindhealer, when he had realized how big his problem really was. The woman had told him nothing was broken, so nothing could be healed. Harry hadn't left Grimauld place since he had visited the healer. Noone had come to see him. Harry let himself drown in madness. Staying in his bed most of the day, eating less and less. Kreacher had giving up on forcing him to eat. When he had the mind to think, his thoughts were clouded by Draco. Harry couldn't help himself. He wanted Draco back. It was all he could think of. All he cared about.

Things didn't change much the following months. Harry grew weaker and weaker, his sanity losing its grip and the madness taking over. Harry barely knew how he used to live. He barely remembered who he used to be. He at times forgot simple tasks as brushing his teeth, forcing himself to relearn them. Everything changed that morning. Harry had woken up, feeling saner than he usually did. Kreacher had brought him his breakfast and the morning paper like he always did. Though most often they were both left beside Harry's bed without said man having ever touched them. This morning Harry felt stronger, he even felt hungry and gladly threw himself over the pumpkin juice and some toast. He even felt sane enough to read the paper. The front page contained a picture of a very recognizeable blonde man, with his arm around a girl. Harry knew the girl, but he couldn't recall her name. She had gone to Hogwart, been in their year... But who she was, Harry couldn't remember. Harry's eyes moved over the article following the picture. He didn't catch all the words, but the one he caught made his blood boil. "Arranged marriage"… "7 years old"… "Purebloods heirs heritage"… "rumours abour mister Malfoy being gay."… The end of the article caught Harry off guard, his head was spinning from all the information one single article had provided him with.

He realized how stupid he had been. He should have tried to control his feelings. Tried to listen to what Draco had to day, instead of pushing him through a wall with magic Harry didn't even knew he knew. Harry rubbed his cheeks. He could feel his cheekbones poke out, but he didn't even think about what that meant. He got up, determination streaming through his mind. Draco's wedding were today. To Pansy Parkinson of all people. The article had been too enlightening for Harry's liking, but for once he appreciated the prophet. Harry called Kreacher to his bedroom. The elf looked stunned, when he realized his master were up and about. "Master" He squeaked and bowed down. Harry smiled and reached in to gently rub Kreachers ears. "Please prepare my nicest suit." Harry had a wedding to crash. Noone was gonna take away what was his. Noone could take away Draco from him. Harry's mind seemed to clear up at the perspective of reclaiming what was his and he had no troubled getting ready to the wedding. He sent an owl to one of his contacts in the ministry, getting hold of the information about the wedding was easier than he had expected it to be. Harry chuckled to himself as he wore his coat, Kreacher wishing him good luck. Noone was gonna stop him from getting his Draco back.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This chapter is the reason this story is rated M. I hope you like this :) reviews make me update faster! :)

When Harry arrived at the location of the wedding, there weren't arrived a lot of guests yet. Which was probably his luck, he didn't want to create a scene. Harry strode through the small crowd, which were already present. He had spotted Draco right away. The blonde man was dressed in a light green muggle suit, his hair had been styled to look casually, but Harry knew it in no way was that. The pants of his suit hugged Draco's legs so tight, that one could sense the way his knees were sculpted. Draco was stunning. Harry gulped. Reality catching up with him. He was about to come out as gay weren't he? Harry didn't actually know what he was feeling. He just knew Draco couldn't marry someone else. Harry was supposed to be the one standing beside him. He was supposed to be the reason for Draco's smiles. Draco was his. Harry clenched his fists, he could feel his magic pulsating inside him. He would control it this time. He had to. He took a deep breath before he approached the groom. Draco's eyes widened as his eyes landed on Harry. Even though Draco was pretending to look away, Harry could sense his gaze on him. It pleased him. He liked Draco's attention. He craved it and he had come to claim it. He soon enough stood in front of Draco, their eyes meeting. "Potter" Draco muttered, making Harry roll his eyes. "Draco." They just stood there for some time, looking at each other. "Don't marry her" Harry muttered. He saw Draco's brows furrow, he saw his nose scrunch up in confusion and he heard the gasp leaving the other man's lips. "Why not?" Harry could feel the anger boil inside him. He could feel how his magic jumped around, desperate to get out and curse someone. Harry growled softly and grabbed Draco's wrist. "Because you're mine!" Draco's eyes widened in shook, before he started chuckling. "Potter, get out of my face. You tried to kill me. We haven't seen each other for months. Who do you think you are?" Harry gulped, looking at his feet for some time. Yes who did he think he was… He clenched his fists. "I tried to contact you. I tried to apologize for losing my temper. I tried to tell you I didn't mean to push you through that wall. I tried to tell you I was glad you didn't die. But you wouldn't talk to me." He muttered the last part, most of all looking like a kicked puppy. He tightened his hold on Draco's wrist, if it was hurting him Draco didn't show it. "I can't do it without you." Harry whispered. Draco huffed and pulled his wrist free. "You seem to be just fine without me Potter. Leave. It's my wedding day." Harry sighed and took a deep breath, before he reached in to cup Draco's face in his hands. The way Draco's chin fit in his hand, made a shiver go down Harry's spine. Draco had frozen on the spot and Harry was tempted to lean in and kiss that shocked expression off his face. But he had to talk, now he had gotten Draco's attention.

"I've been in my bed ever since that day in the hospital… Kreacher had to force me to eat. He didn't really succeed… I've been on the edge of insanity Draco. If I hadn't read the prophet today I probably would have lost myself. If I wasn't determinated to get back what is mine.." Harry had at first been muttering, but his voice grew stronger as he spoke. People were now starring at them and Draco didn't seem comfortable with that at all. Harry didn't care. He had from his youth gotten used to being the unwanted center of attention and now was nothing new for him. He continued speaking. "… I would still have been locked up in my room. I would still have been thinking about how I could ever get what I cherished the most back. Draco…" Draco pulled away from Harry's hold and spit on the ground. His cheeks were faint red. "Go home Potter. You're not in the right state of mind. You don't cherish me as a person. You cherish my company." Draco looked at his own hands, Harry first now noticed the gold band on his finger. He sighed and reached towards Draco. "That's not true! If that was it, why didn't I just find someone else to be my company?" Draco shrugged. "You're embarrassing yourself Potter. The savior of the wizarding world, sinking as low as to come and beg a death eater to come back to him." Draco huffed. Harry clenched his fists, he could hear the people around them buzzing with excitement as they watched them. Harry didn't even care anymore. He grabbed Dracos hand and apparated.

As soon as they appeared in the clearing of the forest Harry had apparated them too, Draco hit him. His palm connected with Harry's cheek and the sound of skin against skin echoed in the clearing. "WHAT THE FUCK POTTER!" Harry didn't care anymore. Draco was his and even Draco couldn't change that. He pulled Draco into his chest, pressing his face into the struggling blondes hair, sniffing in the familiar scent of lavender. Even if they had been apart for a while, Harry still remembered everything about the blonde man in his arms. He knew that even though Draco was struggling now, he wanted to give in to Harry's hug. Harry was right, shortly after Draco let out an annoyed huff, before he pressed his face into Harry's chest. Harry let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Draco was his.

They stood like that for some time, before Draco tugged on Harry's shirt to make Harry look at him. "Did you mean the things you said?" Draco muttered, looking all kinds of vulnerable. Harry nodded, he didn't need to speak. The sincerity in his eyes would speak for him. Draco sighed softly. "I should get back to Pansy." Harry tensed up and tightened his hold on Draco. Draco rolled his eyes. "Harry let go of me. I forgive you okay, but that doesn't mean I'm not getting married." Harry looked out over the forest, watching the leaves wave through the wind. "Do you love her?" he whispered. He didn't know why. He just had to know. Draco sighed, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter if I do or not. It's my choice Harry." He muttered. Harry was happy Draco called him his first name again, but it didn't lessen the hurt he felt. Draco wasn't his. That didn't mean Harry would give up though. He gently ran his hand over Draco's back muttering. "Can we just…" Harry didn't know what he was asking, but Draco seemed to know without Harry wording out his question. Draco nodded and moved his hands to gently take Harry's. "I'll move my wedding one week." He muttered. "But I doubt I'll change my mind, Just because we…" Harry nodded. He smiled softly at Draco, leaning in to caress the other man' cheek. Draco could be his just for a night.

Harry apparated them back to Grimauld place shortly after, telling Kreacher not to disturb them before he lead Draco to his bedroom. Draco had never been to that part of the house when he had visited Harry. But Harry was planning to keep him there the rest of the day. Draco had demanded he sent Pansy an owl to tell him he was okay and that he would be home tomorrow. Apologizing for chickening out on their wedding. Pansy didn't need to know what he was actually doing. Harry had only let him write the damn letter to get Draco to stop winning about it and pay his full attention on Harry, but now when they were in the bedroom, Harry found himself feeling rather awkward. He had no idea what to do. Draco just looked at him, smiling softly. "Scared Potter?" He muttered, making the tension between them dissolve. "You wish." Harry muttered back, before he in one move closed the distance between them, pulling Draco into his arms and holding him close. Draco rested his head on Harry's shoulder, his arms gently circling around Harrys waist. Harry smiled softly as he watched the pale skin on Draco's neck. It moved whenever Draco breathed. Harry gently ran his hand down Draco's back, watching his throat as Draco's breath hitched when Harry sneaked his hand underneath Draco's shirt. Harry was glad they had taken off their blazers and ties already. He was sure that'd be a total mood killer.

Draco glanced up at Harry, biting his lip. Harry leaned closer to him, to finally press his lips against the lips which accompanied blonde hair and pale skin. Draco's lips were softer than Harry had expected. They moved with Harry's lips in a slow almost exploring manner and let Harry press his lips against them in any way he wished. They were beautiful like the rest of the man they belonged to. Draco growled softly, when Harry moved his hand down the other male's pale back, to give said male's butt a small squeeze. The squeeze made Draco press his body firmly against Harry's. Harry could feel the erection through Draco's pants. It pressed painfully against his own erection and made Harry desperate to get Draco out of his clothes. Draco seemed to have the same thought, because in the next moment his hands were clawing on Harrys chest to make Harry loosen his hold on him. Draco ripped Harry's shirt open, so the buttons flew through the room, some of them hitting Draco in the face. Draco didn't seem to care. He leaned in to press his mouth against the now exposed skin. Harry's breath hitched as Draco's hands started working on his pants, all the while the blonde's lips pressed against every piece of skin he could possible explore on Harry's chest. Harry groaned softly, yanking Draco's head away by tugging on the back of his shirt. He wanted to see some pearly pale exposed skin too. He grabbed the bottom of Draco's shirt and ripped it open in the same manner Draco had done with his own just minutes ago. The buttons flew everywhere, mixing with the buttons from Harry's shirt. Harry grinned as he ran a finger over the other male's chest. He was truly beautiful.

Draco's breath was heavy and when their eye locked all Harry could see was desire. Desire for him. Harry could feel his cock twitch in his pants as he reached down to quickly unbuttoning Draco's pants. He tugged Draco's pants and boxers down in one go, Draco gasped as the slightly chilly air in the bedroom hit his skin. He lifted his feet to let Harry get them out of his pants, before pants and boxers were discharged in a pile. Harry standing up to take in the breathtaking view which were Draco Malfoy. Harry wanted Draco more than he had ever wanted anyone before. He wanted to grab the other man's face and crash their lips together in a teeth gritting kiss. He wanted to rub their erections together and grope the perfect ass Harry knew Draco had. But instead he just looked at him. His eyes roaming over every spot of pale skin. Draco chuckled breathlessly as he watched Harry. Harry chuckled with him, as he tugged his own pants and boxers down, kicking them away. He could sense Draco's eyes on him, but he found he didn't mind. He had always been conscious when he had been with Ginny. But with Draco this felt more natural than breathing. Draco gently ran his hand over Harry's chest, his eyes landing on the floor. Harry softly pulled him into his chest, Draco whispered. "I-I don't know if I can do this." Harry pressed his face into Draco's hair, gently rubbing his back. "It's okay." He mumbled.

Draco pressed closer to him, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Why me?" He whispered so low Harry almost didn't catch it. Harry shrugged a little, before he spoke. "You like Harry, not the savior. But most importantly… You're you." Draco huffed. "git" He muttered, gently pulling himself free of Harry's hold, moving over to get on the bed. He lay down on his back, smiling softly at Harry. "Be gentle." Draco muttered as he lifted his legs up to spread them slightly. Harry's breath caught in his throat as he watched Draco move. He was so graceful, the way his legs seemed to follow an unknown music made Harry gulp. Harry could watch him move forever. But forever was time he didn't have. Harry moved over to the bed, crawling in between Draco's legs, gently rubbing his hands over the other man's thighs. "You're beautiful" Harry whispered. Draco's face heated up, his cheeks standing out compared to his pale white skin. Harry leaned up to press their lips together. Draco welcomed him with an eagerness Harry hadn't expected, but he liked it. Draco was his.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I hope you'll enjoy an insight into Draco's troubled mind ouo Thanks to those who review, follow and favorite! OUO

Reviews make me happy ouo

Draco pov.

Draco wasn't sure what was him and what was Harry. What he was sure of was that the night before hadn't been a dream. He gulped as he watched Harrys chest heave and sink. He couldn't believe he had actually let Harry do it. Draco moved a little, making a face. He was sour. Of course he was. Harry was in no sense of the word a gentle lover. He huffed and glanced at the sleeping man beside him. Harry might not have been gentle, but he was good. Draco had no idea how sensitive he truly was, but Harry… Oh Harry knew. Draco could feel his face heat up, just at the thought of how Harry had taken him only hours earlier. Draco had honestly expected them to just do it once, then go to bed and never speak of it again. But oh had he been wrong. Harry had spoken about the first time in so livid details that Draco couldn't help himself, but jump the man. At the time his mind had been clouded by desire, but now it just seemed foolishly embarrassing.

He hid his face in the best thing he could find, which turned out to be Harry's chest. Harry's skin was smooth and Draco wanted to nuzzle his face into it, but he wouldn't do it. The intimacy belonged to the day before. He was going to marry Pansy. He was going to create a pureblood family, just like his parents wanted him to. He couldn't go off the path they had set for him now. Harry was just a distraction. He wasn't supposed to matter. But the thing was. Harry had always mattered. He hadn't known at the time, but the eleven year old kid with dark messy hair he had met in the robe shop was special. Draco had admired the boy since the day they met. It was first much later he realized why he was acting like he was. In his case the saying 'Those you tease are those you love.' Draco hadn't known how to deal with his crush on the boy. He hadn't known how to show him he cared for him. So he had done the only thing he knew how to do. He knew he had been an asshole to Harry most of their school time, but Harry seemed to have liked him just the same. After all Harry was the one to give in to his hearts desires and ask Draco to bed. Draco sighed softly as he glanced up at Harry. The other man had always made him feel things he couldn't explain. He had always asked himself, what made Harry different. To Draco Harry had never been the boy who lived. He had always been the boy in the robe shop, who had stolen his heart.

Draco smiled softly as he closed his eyes and pressed himself closer to Harry. He would just have to enjoy the time he had with the other male. Harry had always been beautiful, but the years he'd spent fighting had only given him more beauty. Draco sighed. If he was honest with himself, he didn't want to marry Pansy anymore than he wanted to Marry a mudblood like Granger, but he was a pureblood and it was his duty. A pureblood couldn't be gay and especially not for a halfblood like Harry. Draco sighed and frustrated ran his hand through his hair. He could hear Harry's laughter, before he realized what it was. The other opened his eyes. "Why are you so troubled Draco?" He muttered, Draco couldn't look away. Harry's eyes were beautiful. They had always been, but this close they were even more mesmerizing. Draco rolled his eyes. "Shut it Potter. Youre the root to all my troubles." Harry just smiled and ran a hand over Draco's back. "I know that's not true Draco. You're into me." Draco made a face at Harry's choice of words, but let the other continue. "Which makes me wonder even more why you're marrying a woman who will never be able to satisfy your needs." At that Draco felt his face turn bright red. Harry was a fucking git. He growled and smacked Harry's arm. "Mind your own business, you prat." Harry just laughed. "Oh but Draco. You are my business." Draco rolled his eyes. "Fuck you Potter." Something in Harry's eyes shifted and Draco felt a shiver go down his spine. Harry's hand grabbed Draco's neck and pulled him up, so their faces were so close Draco could barely breath. He tensed up, Harry's eyes send a dangerously gaze his way.

"I think you mixed your words up, sweetie." Harry bit his lip as his eyes ran over Draco's face. Draco could feel himself relax in the other man's hands. He was weak. He knew that. "It's 'fuck me, Potter' isn't it?" Draco nodded weakly. He couldn't help it. The ultimate control surrounding Harry, made him into pudding in his hands. Harry smiled as he let go of Draco's neck, Draco took a few shallow breaths and collapsed on the bed. He looked up at the other man, his own face was so hot he felt like he was on fire. He couldn't help but be embarrassed by his own submission to Harry. For god sake. He was a Malfoy. He shouldn't even have bottomed in the first place. Harry should. Draco should have had the chosen one at his mercy, squirming underneath him and begging him to go harder. Instead. Draco lay there with Harry hovering above him. The other man's hand gently caressing Draco's blonde hair, moving it away from his face. Harry leant down to press a soft kiss against Draco's forehead. Draco felt shivers tingling down his spine. Just a peck from Harry sent him into another world. A world where the only thing which mattered was that Harry would fucking get in between his legs already and fuck him. Draco sat up suddenly. That couldn't be his own thoughts. Harry had to have cursed him somehow. Sure, he had wanted Harry naked in bed with him since he was 15 years old, but that didn't mean he was that easily—He gulped. It did. He was screwed. He pushed Harry off him and quickly got off the bed, trying to hide the embarrassing evidence of just how much he wanted Harry, all the while he collected his clothes. "I-I need to go-o. Pansy i-is waiting." Malfoys didn't stutter, but Draco took himself not caring. He had to get home. He had to get out of this house, before the desire to stay in Harry's bed overwhelmed his better judgement.

He cursed himself out in his head, when he could barely mange to get his pants on. Harry sat on the bed watching him and Draco wanted to yell at him to keep his nasty eyes to himself. But he couldn't. He liked the attention Harry gave him. He liked the way Harry's eyes took in every part of his body and most of all he liked that Harry wanted him. He managed to get dressed faster than he thought possible, after a few start problems, he had gotten in his clothes faster than ever before. He grabbed his wand, repairing the buttons on his shirt, before he looked up at Harry. The mask of indifference in place. "Potter, I'll see you at my wedding." He nodded, before he left the bedroom, almost bumping into Kreacher right outside. The elf squeaked and spoke in a high pitched voice. "is master Malfoy already leaving? Kreacher thought… Kreacher hoped." What Kreacher thought or hoped, Draco didn't bother waiting for, he strode through the house and out the door, apparating before Harry or his own mind had a chance to stop him. He fell onto his knees when the colors of his surroundings fell into place, breathing heavily. What was wrong with him? He had to be crazier than Harry had ever been to have thoughts like those in his head.

He sighed and sat up, circling his arms around himself and looking around the forest. He recalled Harry talking about it once, when they had spoken about places they liked. Draco didn't know why he was here. He just couldn't face his future wife right now and he had to get out of the black house, before… He gulped. He had to stay away from Harry until the wedding. It would be the best for both of them. He nodded to himself. Harry deserved someone better than him anyways. Harry was the golden boy and Draco was… The blackened boy. They were like a white and a black sheep. They shouldn't be together and fuck up their breed, making small grey baby sheep. Draco gulped. Why was he even thinking of that. It wasn't like him and Harry would end up having kids. He huffed. They were both men and sure it was possible with a potion, but Draco doubted, that would ever be relevant. He shook his head. He was gonna have kids with Pansy. He made a face. Just the idea of having a mix of the two of them running around disturbed him. Now small Harry's with blonde hair, that was something else. Draco hit himself. What the fuck was he even thinking. He groaned and let himself fall back, his head landing in the grass. He was fucked.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I was in an emotional state when i wrote this- so i hope it isnt too- odd ouo Anyways please review! And thank to those who follow and like my story! :)

Harry had gotten up and hurried after Draco, when he actually realized the other man was going. He had scarred Kreacher for life with his naked self and that was probably why he stood in his hall, looking at the nothingness Draco had left behind. Harry fell to his knees, his hands clutching the carpet on the floor, breath hitching. "Draco-" He whispered. "Draco" He curled up on the floor, feeling the tears sting in his eyes. He had lost him. Harry could feel a sob slithering its way up his throat. He had been so close… but he had still lost him. It was tearing the walls he had built up around his insanity down. Harry wanted to scream. So he did.

He wasn't sure how long he had been screaming, but he had no voice left and Kreacher was in such a sour mood he had made porridge for dinner. Harry couldn't bear to face Kreacher as he sat naked in the kitchen eating the porridge. Harry knew the elf had been proud to be his master after the war, but by now the elf had probably changed his mind. Harry was weak. Harry squirmed a little in his seat. It was like someone was tickling him from the inside and he scratched his arm hard, trying to make the sensation go away. Harry hadn't noticed that Kreacher had disappeared, before he returned and screamed. "Master Potter! Your arm!" Harry blinked and looked at his arm, which were bleeding. Harry hadn't even felt the pain. He furrowed his brows and looked at his hand. His fingers where covered in blood. He glanced at Kreacher as the small elf whipped his hand clean, feeling like a kid, being scolded for doing something wrong. He bit his lip, the tears were pressing their way out his eyes and he felt ashamed of himself. He couldn't even protect himself from himself. He who had protected the world from Voldemort. He couldn't even deal with himself. His thoughts drifted off to Draco. Draco deserved better. Harry understood now why he was marrying… her. Harry coughed and clutched his stomach, making Kreacher ask if he was okay, to which he just nodded. He wasn't okay, but nothing Kreacher could do would help him.

Harry stood up, pushing the chair out from the table so hard that it fell back making a loud sound, which made Kreacher flinch. "Master Potter" The elf exclaimed with horror in his voice." Harry nodded. "send an owl to Hermione and Ron." Harry whispered before he almost flowed up to his chambers. He collapsed on his bed, being reminded by the man he was desperately trying to forget. He buried his face into the sheets, sniffing in deeply. "Draco" He whispered repeatedly, his eyes closed as he clutched on to the sheets. The sheets smelled of sweat and this distant smell which Harry knew was Draco. Harry curled up in his bed. Even if Kreacher told his two best friends to come. He knew it would first be tomorrow they'd come by. Harry sighed. Best friends… yeah right. He missed Draco. He missed just sitting in the library reading with his company lingering in Harry's mind. He missed the small sound Draco made when he read, the way he wetted his fingers to flip over a page. He missed how Draco always got excited when he won over Harry in chess. He missed how Draco would run his fingers through his hair and tell him about potions Harry didn't care about. He missed sending smiles over the table when they ate. He missed Kreacher showing respect towards Draco. A respect he showed no one else. He missed fighting with Draco about stupid things like… like.. Harry sighed. Like Ron and Hermione. He curled up, his body started shaking slightly. Not because he was cold, but simply because it could. Harry was too tired to fight the blackness which took over.

Harry woke up the following morning when Kreacher served breakfast in bed. He sent the elf a small smile, which was all he could manage. His voice was still hoarse and he needed to save it for his talk with Ron and Hermione. He sat up in bed, letting Kreacher place the tray on the bed, listening to the elf blabber about something in the Prophet. Harry didn't listen, but later he realized he should have. When Hermione and Ron sat in front of him at the kitchen table, asking him if he had seen the news in the paper. She was pregnant. Harry wanted to laugh. He wanted to yell at them and push them into hard surfaces. But instead he just smiled. Letting the two of them talk about their wedding and the added member to their family. Harry knew then that they didn't care about him. He had asked them to come. Something he had stopped doing a couple years ago. But still they didn't realize it wasn't to talk about their life, but because he had something to say. Harry watched the two people he had seen grow up, realizing he didn't recognize them any longer. He suddenly stood up and left the kitchen. He had to go find Draco, before he would be all by himself, with no one to care for him. It might be complicated with Draco, but at least Harry knew the man cared.

Harry apparated before his two former best friends could even go look for him, not that they did that. They didn't even realize he hadn't gone to the bathroom, before two hours had passed. Harry went to Malfoy manor. He waited in front of the gate, scratching in the cut he had inflicted himself days before. He hadn't let Kreacher heal it. As silly as it seemed, he wanted to let that cut symbolize his broken heart. He had wanted to tell Ron and Hermione about Draco. He wanted Hermione to help him make a love potion, so he could fall for someone else. They hadn't even seemed to notice him. The only thing Harry had gotten out of their visit was that he wanted a family too. And no one else than Draco would do. The gate opened and Harry walked inside, walking up to the front door, where he knocked. A known face, he didn't want to see, greeted him in the door. It was her. Her hand were clenched at her sides and Harry could feel her dislike for him swimming in the air.

Draco appeared behind her. His face hardened when his gaze met Harry's. "leave." Harry felt his heart break into a thousand of small pieces at the coldness in Draco's voice. He couldn't help it. He scratched harder and harder in the cut, trying to keep the tears at bay, but it didn't work. He stared at Draco as his eyes swelled up with tears, his cut reopening and applying a layer of blood on his fingers. Harry couldn't even scream the frustration out because his voice was too weak. Pansy sent Draco a look before she shook her head and left. Harry felt empty. All he wanted was for Draco to hug him. "Draco-" He whispered as the door in front of him got closed.

He collapsed on the doorstep, his strength drained from his body. He couldn't do it any longer. The fight wasn't worth it. No one would expect him to be sane. Harry's mind circled around the blonde, which had been his last chance, as he blacked out.

Harry couldn't know that Draco had opened the door again, he was already far away. He couldn't know Draco was desperately shaking him, begging him to wake up. He couldn't know Draco scoped him up and apparated him to saint mungos, yelling at the healers to fucking do their job and save him. He couldn't know Draco spend two days in a chair beside his bed. He couldn't know Draco went to tell Kreacher and that Kreacher then joined Draco at his bed, wailing like a baby. He couldn't know Draco and Pansy broke off their engagement, because Draco as pansy said it 'was a fucking asshole for pulling her into his mess, when it was obvious he never loved her.' He couldn't know that when he woke up, it was the first time Draco had left his side after he had went to get Kreacher. Harry thought he knew, that Draco would never care about him again.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I usually write in Microsoft word and somehow whole chapter 6 got deleted in my doc, so this chapter was written as an alternative chapter 6. i mean i even searched for something i knew had happened in the story in my doc, but it wasnt there- first when i realized this story already ahd a chap 6 i realized what had happened. Anyways. I hope this chapter doesnt confuse you too much now that it is chapter 7- After realizing my mistake i added a few things to fit this chapter to be a contuniuation of chapter 6 ouo Pls review and tell em if its too confusing! :)

Harry wanted Draco back. He wanted him in his arms or just sitting in the chair reading like he had done so many times before. But Draco wasn't coming back and he was getting married tomorrow. Again. Harry sighed. Kreacher had held account of the days for him. Those moments in the morning where the elf told him the amount of days to Draco's wedding, had been the most sane ones in the last week. Harry had to come to the wedding. He had to. Not to ruin it this time though. It wasn't like it had worked out the last time. He would just be the supportive friend, sitting in the rows of chairs among the other guests, watching his man marrying a woman, who didn't deserve him. Harry sighed and curled up on the bed. He could still smell Draco in his sheets, he had forbidden Kreacher to clean them and right now, the scent was the only thing keeping him grounded. Harry closed his eyes. He could see Draco. He had finally understood what Trelawny meant with inner eye… or perhaps not. But he could see behind his closed eyelids, see Draco in his bed, sprawled out on the sheets a beautiful tint of red to his cheeks. His hair was a mess and he was panting. He was beautiful.

Harry groaned as he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. Hermione had enchanted it to show the sky outside. That had been back when they had actually been there for him, when he had first been to Saint Mungos and the healers had explained them what his problem was. That felt like ages ago by now, but the ceiling had always had a calming effect on him. Right now Harry could see the fluffy white clouds, flowing over the blue ceiling. He sighed, feeling like he sucked fresh air into his lungs, even though the air inside his room was as heavy as if he ate stones. He pressed his face into the sheets, sniffing in. The scent of Draco was getting weaker and weaker. Maybe it would be a good thing to see Draco standing by the alter, telling Pansy his vows and getting bound to her. Maybe that would clear his mind from the pictures of blonde hair in his head. Maybe that would be the final straw to let his sanity go.

He clenched his fists, cursing his rotten luck for needing a pureblood, and a Slytherin pureblood wizard at that, to keep him sane. Harry felt angry. Not at Draco for fulfilling his duty by marrying Pansy, but at himself. He was a pathetic excuse of a savior. He laughed at himself. He had killed Voldemort, but by doing that he had also killed himself. The prophesy had been wrong. He couldn't live without Voldemort to breath down his neck. He groaned. Who would have seen that one coming? He rubbed his forehead. It was probably because whole his life in the wizarding world had been defined by Voldemort. He had been the boy who lived, the chosen one and the savior. He had never been Harry. Living with his uncle and aunt he had been Harry, but that Harry was broken and whenever Harry tried to rely on the part of himself he saw as Harry it would only worsening his mind. He shivered as a particular nasty memory of Dudley chasing him on his bike, telling Harry he had gotten fat. Harry had ran until he had fainted, whenever Dudley had gotten tired of riding his bike one of his friends had taken over. Harry made a face. Compared to Dudley, Draco had almost been nice in school. Harry shook his head.

His thought had circulated back to the topic he was trying to avoid thinking about. It was about time he got his life under control. He had fucked things up with Ginny Weasley shortly after the war. Who could really blame him? She had been far too demanding. Harry had wanted to keep a low profile, giving his mind time to work over everything which had happened. Ginny though, she had wanted to get married a few months after the war. Harry wasn't sure what she had been thinking, he had never really understood her. He rubbed his eyes, closing his eyes. It wasn't like it was unfair to want time to heal, but Ginny didn't seem to feel the same and had two months into their relationship admitted to having an affair with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan. Harry had to admit that it had surprised him, but no other emotions had filled him when Ginny had told him. He huffed. And now she was apparently pregnant. Her and Hermione. Not that he had heard that from any of said girls themselves. No, He had heard it by listening to some witches' conversation, when he had actually taken a trip to Diagonally.

Yes. He was disappointed in the people he used to see as family, but he also understood that an outcast like himself wasn't what filled either girls mind. He opened his eyes to look up at the ceiling. He chuckled to himself. They were too busy with planning their wedding and being fat. He snorted. That was one of the words Draco had used one day when he had thrown the prophet on the table beside the chair he usually occupied beside Harry. Harry smiled fondly for himself, remembering how Draco had huffed as he glanced at Harry, before he burst out, rather unmalfoyish. "Have you heard your Weaslette and the fake Weaslette are fat? How ridiculous is that? You should be happy you didn't marry into that family. In such a young age, they get knocked up. Pftt." He had rolled his eyes, making Harry chuckle and nod. Harry sighed. They had talked about having children that day. Draco wanted a daughter. Harry chuckled. Draco really wasn't as much Malfoy as he liked to believe. He pressed his face into his pillow sighing as he let the scent of said blonde overwhelm his senses. Pansy would give Draco the daughter he wanted. Harry clenched his fists, tightening them around the sheets. He could imagine the girl having her mother's facial features and the striking Malfoy hair. Harry sighed.

Harry sighed. He should contact Ron and Hermione, but he didn't want to burden anyone with his presence. He chuckled to himself. He had pestered Draco with his present, but that was something else. Draco had been needed. Harry had been selfish. He had been very selfish lately.

He squinted his eyes, his head had started buzzing. He had been wasting his sanity on stupid matters like the past. He clutched his head, groaning softly. It wasn't fair. That was the last clear thought in his head before he could barely contain a thought in his head, which seemed like it was on the verge of exploding. He tightened his hold on his head, trying to shake the pain away, but to no use. He could feel his body temperature rising and his breath speed up, without his consent. He could feel the cloth on his forehead, more than seeing it and the reassurance of knowing Kreacher was there for him, made him give in to the pain, letting it take control of his body, which started squirming violently.

He jerked awake with a little squeak, first then realizing that he wasn't actually at home like he had thought. He squinted his eyes. He recognized the place. Saint Mungos. He sighed. He had no idea what was reality and what wasn't. He just knew that Draco wasn't anywhere in any of his realities. Kreacher was by his side. The elf was snoring, laying in a position Harry was sure couldn't be comfortable. The elf seemed to be sobbing in his sleep. Harry couldn't help but feel a clench around his heart. Kreacher would always be there for him. Weirdly enough this made Harry smile. When he had first met the elf, he hadn't liked him at all. But now. He depended on him. Kreacher was his only solid point in life.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: This chapter was a bit longer than i had first meant it to be, due to the fact that this story is soon at it's end :) I hope you guys liked this confrontation. Pls review :)

Harry smiled for himself as he watched Kreacher sleep. He wanted to let the elf sleep more comfortable, but wasn't sure how to do just that without waking him. He looked around the room. The room was small. Private. It had two chairs, both beside his bed, a spare bed and a rather ugly mirror on the wall. There was a window, which were clearly enchanted to show the view outside. He groaned as he caught sight of his wand. Of course. He could levitate Kreacher onto the spare bed. He hadn't really used a lot of magic since… His last visit to saint mungos, but this was for Kreacher he reminded himself as he grabbed a hold of his wand, muttering the spell underneath his breath. The elf slowly lifted from its position between Harry's bed and the chair he had been sitting on. Harry concentrated all his strength on his wand, letting out a soft breath of air, when he managed to place the elf on the bed. He put his wand back, letting out a soft breath. His mind could barely handle his magic. What had happened to him?

Just then the door opened, Harry almost wanted to laugh. He had to be dreaming. He had to. Draco was standing in the door, a clear bag with what seemed to be snacks was hanging on his arm, while another bag was over his other arm, the content unknown to Harry. Draco blinked at him, Harry blinked back. He watched as Draco's face changed from a blend expression to a smile. "Harry" He whispered, like he didn't truly believe that Harry was really there, which was ridiculous, because Draco was the one who wasn't really there. Harry sighed and got more comfortable in the bed, eyes still on the other male. Draco put his bags down on the spare bed, at the end where Kreacher wasn't lying, before he sat down in the chair beside Harry's bed. "How are you feeling?" He whispered, Harry wondered why, it seemed like the other was afraid he'd disappear if he was too loud. He felt an odd sensation of nothingness overwhelm him. Like the real Draco would even care. He looked away, shrugging. "The real Draco wouldn't care." He muttered. He couldn't see Draco's reaction to his words, but he felt the blonde's hands on his cheeks, which turned his face to face him. "Harry. I do care. How can I prove it to you?" Harry wanted to look away again, Draco's eyes were too intense for his liking. "Harry. Me and Pansy broke off the engagement. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, marrying someone I don't truly care about." Harry squinted his eyes at Draco's words, but didn't say anything else. Draco smiled softly. "You fainted on my doorstep." He whispered, an almost weak look on his face. Harry frowned, he couldn't recall even going to see Draco. "I haven't gone to see you." He mumbled, making Draco furrow his brows in confusion. "But Harry- You appeared two days after…" Draco coughed. "..after we- uhm. You know" Harry huffed. "You can't even admit what we did?" He pulled his face free from the others hold, sulking at the window. Draco was an asshole. He puckered his lips, feeling his eyes tearing up. If he could just be Harry's asshole, then it would be okay. Draco sighed. "We-e had sex. You-u.." Draco paused before he quickly ranted of his next words. "you fucked me into the mattress and I liked it. a lot. " Harry blinked, drying his eyes with the back of his hand, turning to look at Draco. He tilted his head slightly, just looking at the red faced male in front of him. He couldn't help himself, but smile. "Draco." He mumbled, reaching a hand in to touch the others face. He felt a tingle go through his body, when Draco closed his eyes and leant into Harry's touch. Harry chuckled softly. Draco was real. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to hug him close and tell him how much he missed him. He wanted to keep him close until he was certain Draco was free to be his. Draco chuckled too, smiling with his eyes closed. "Harry" he whispered, sending a pleasant amount of shivers through him.

Harry cupped the blonde's face in both his hands, eyes running over the man's face. "Draco" he whispered back, chuckling more. He couldn't help it. Draco was really here. He was here to take care of him. Harry kissed him. He had to. Draco didn't seem to mind. The other male's arms circled around Harry's neck and his lips followed Harry's lead. Harry couldn't stop smiling into the kiss, his hand running form the others cheek, into his blonde hair, cupping the back of his head to pull him even closer. The door opened again. Neither of them noticed though. Harry never wanted the kiss to end. But it did. Draco was ripped out of his hold, making Harry blink in confusion as he opened his eyes to see a furious Ron Weasley, hovering above Draco who was clutching his cheek on the ground. Ron was muttering underneath his breath. "Disgusting ferret, taking advantage of my best mate. Who the hell does he think he is." Harry could feel the anger boiling inside of him. He clenched his fists, glaring at Ron. "Get out!" He screamed at the redhead. Of course Ron would ruin his perfect moment. "But mate- the ferret was taking advantage of you" Harry laughed. He slowly, slower than he'd like to, got out of bed. He bend down to help Draco off the floor, eyes searching those grey clouds of wonder. Draco sent him a soft smile, nodding. Harry kissed his red cheek, anger rising inside him over the fact that the redness wasn't from shyness, but from his so called best friends fist. Draco sat down on Harry's bed. Kreacher had at some point woken up and was staring at the scene unfolding between the two standing males. Harry raised an eyebrow at Ron, who first then seemed to realize Harry's anger. "How dare you. How dare you lay a hand on him!" Harry's voice grew in strength with each word he spoke, the anger so clear in his voice, even Ron could sense it. Ron rubbed his neck. "But Harry. It's Malfoy!" Harry clenched his fists. "You judgmental excuse of a wizard!" Harry yelled, his hands clenching and unclenching. "You have no idea, do you?" Harry laughed at the confused expression on Ron's face. "I'm gay. I. Am. Dating. Him." Harry knew they weren't actually dating yet, but right now it didn't matter. Ron was an asshole. He had ruined the best day in Harry's life and he would pay. Harry had no idea how his wand ended up in his hand, but before he knew of it a red duck was standing where Ron before had stood.

Harry let out a soft breath, the anger leaving his body with said breath. Draco's arms circled around him from behind. "deep breaths Harry" He muttered into Harry's ear, gently nuzzling his nose into Harry's neck. Harry slowly calmed down, closing his eyes. It was okay. He had just transformed his former best friend into a duck, but Draco was holding him and everything felt so right. Draco kissed his neck muttering. "So were dating huh?" Harry chuckled, muttering back. "If you want to." Draco nodded into his neck. The two of them standing there in comfortable silence.

The silence was interrupted by Hermione entering the room. "Ron is Harry awa-" She started saying, blinking at the scene infront her. Harry could see her brain taking in the facts. There were no Ron there. Harry was in none other than Draco Malfoy's arms. She blinked and Harry gently pulled away from Draco's warmth to face the woman. "Hermione." He said. She then seemed to notice the duck, her eyes widening. "Harry- is that- Ron?" She pointed at the duck, disbelief clear in her voice. Harry nodded. "He hit Draco." Harry stated matter of factly. Hermione glanced from one male to another, then to the duck. "What's happening Harry?" Harry chuckled, before he reached in to take Draco's hand. He would need strength for this conversation. He hummed. "I was left to myself by the people I thought was my family. I found a way to stay sane, without bothering them. They all were too busy with their lives to have time for me." He paused and Hermione smiled softly "Oh Harry, you sho-" He waved his hand to cut her off. "I tried to keep contact with you and Ron. You two never had time to talk about me." Harry glanced at Draco. "Draco did." Hermione swallowed and Harry could sense she was about to say something. "No Hermione." This stopped her from saying whatever she had been about to say and Harry continued. "Draco cares about me, even if I almost killed him once. He sits with me in silence. He talks to me about everything and nothing. I care about him and Ron.." Harry paused, smiling when he felt Draco squeeze his hand. "Ron doesn't seem to understand that my life also move on, even if it does so in a much slower pace than others, due to my less sane moments." He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "Ron is allowed to marry you and have a family, but apparently if it was up to him.. I'm not allowed to do the same" Harry glanced at Draco with a soft smile, before muttering. "I love him, Hermione." Draco blinked, his eyes searching Harry's at the sudden confession. Harry chuckled. "I really do." He nodded to Draco, squeezing his hand, before he turned back to face Hermione. "and if you and Ron can't accept my happiness I don't need the two of you in my life. Now, I'd like you and Ron to leave." Hermione nodded, standing in her spot for a while, before she picked up the duck and left the room with a whispered: "I'm sorry Harry". Harry let out a soft breath. He felt lighter than he had in years.


	9. Chapter 9 - the end

AN: and that's the end. If you'd like one last chapter as an epilogue, please review and tell me. Else this will be the last chapter :) I hope you enjoyed the story- I enjoyed writing it :)

Harry was for the first time, in what felt like years and probably could be years, outside the comfort of his house. He was sitting at a small bench, watching Draco, a fond look on his face. Draco had gotten him a dog the second Harry had been well enough to leave the safety of saint mungos. It wasn't just any dog. Harry rubbed his neck, smiling as he recalled when Draco had appeared at his door step as few hours after they had parted. The puppy had been in a curb with a little blue bow around it's neck. It's fur was dark, on the edge to being fully midnight black. Draco had held the curb up and exclaimed he knew how to heal Harry's mind. Harry had been confused at first, but after Draco had explained what he meant, while they were sitting in the kitchen, streaming hot tea in each their cups and the puppy now sleeping safely in Harry's lap, Harry had finally got it. Harry's sanity had nothing to do with his actual mental state. He wasn't insane in the regular sense of the word, which was why no healer could cure him. No. As Draco had said, while making rather excited had gestures and almost spilling his tea: Harry had been so used to having the responsibility for something, that without the burden responsibility added on his shoulders, he couldn't stabilize his mind. At first Harry had taken care of himself, in shape of surviving living with the Dursleys. Afterwards he had taken the responsibility of being the savior onto his shoulders, while still managing to deal with keeping himself alive at the Dursleys. After the war, none of those had been any of his concerns. Harry didn't even have responsibility for himself. Kreacher took care of that. With his friends and family slowly retrieving themselves from him, he wasn't even needed anymore. At this point Harry had thrown his cup of tea against the wall and woken up the puppy. Draco had stopped his explanation to go over and hug the broken male. Harry really was broken, but Draco's theories had been right.

He chuckled for himself. After getting Padfoot Harry had only had one unstable moment and that was three weeks ago. The puppy had grown quite a bit and now the resemblance between Sirius animagus form and the dog was only clearer. Harry smiled as he watched Draco throw the stick for Padfoot again, the dogs legs moved with a speed Harry found ridiculous, speeding after the stick to retrieve it and return it to Draco. Draco. Harry caught Draco glance over at him, he waved to the blonde male, who didn't even think before he waved back. Draco had truly changed since school or maybe Harry was the one who had changed. Maybe the Draco he knew now had been there all the time, hiding behind Malfoy. Harry chuckled. Draco was an outcast in the wizarding world. A former death eater and the man who supposedly had tricked the savior of the wizarding world into his heart. To Harry Draco was so much more. Harry might be the savior in everyone else's eyes. But to him, the real savior was Draco. Draco with his ridiculous blond hair. Draco who was kicked out of the manor and disowned for something as scandalous as dating a Potter. Harry laughed for himself. He would never quite understand the pureblood society.

Draco sat down beside him, Padfoot trailing after him wagging his tail like he was the happiest dog in the world. Harry suspected Padfoot really thought that, but what did he know? He could only speak with snakes. Harry smiled as he felt Draco's hand take a hold of his, the blonde's head resting on Harry's shoulder. "Padfoot never get's tired." Harry chuckled at Draco's words, turning to look at him with a soft smile, before reaching in to move some hair out of his face. "It's a good thing he tires you out before we return home-" Harry wiggled his brows, which earned him a smack on the arm from Draco. "Shut up, Potter. Just because I one time jumped you doesn't mean I'm always desperate." Harry chuckled. "The keyword being always. Don't lie to yourself Draco. You're always desperate." Draco rolled his eyes, snorting. "says the guy who groped me just this morning, while I was doing something as sexy as washing my hands." Draco put extra pressure on the word sexy, making Harry cringe. "Oh stuff it. You know what you did-" He grumbled. "You tease" Draco leaned in to peck Harry's neck, nuzzling his nose softly into Harry's skin. "Just admit that you're into it." Harry huffed. "Over my dead body, Malfoy" Draco snorted. "Please." Harry smiled and squeezed Draco's hand. The two of them just sitting on the bench in comfortable silence for some time. Padfoot jumped onto the bench and got comfortable in Harry's lap, Harry gently petting the dog.

"Hey Harry." Draco muttered, making Harry look at him. "Yeah?" Draco smiled. A smile Harry probably never would get tired of seeing on the blonde's face. "I love you." Harry blinked, before leaning in to press a soft peck against the blonde's lips. "I love you too."


End file.
